5 – The Triad of Thinking – the art of responsiveness
BY STAN KONTOS
Have you ever reacted with a thought in a situation then regretted what you thought or said at the time? Do you remember scenarios where as time went by you received different thoughts about an event or about a person’s behaviour? Welcome to the club – me too! However it need not be that way – what if we practiced a process of greater wisdom now to prevent regrets in the future? The best way to improve the elicitation of greater levels of wisdom is by developing the habit of having 3 thoughts with every critical situation or event. Einstein was famous for quoting “My goal is to think like God thinks”. Perhaps we can all have a big goal like Albert Einstein.
There is an “old wisdom from antiquity” which says “Ask and ye shall receive”. Now this can have many meanings – one of those meanings I have discovered is around the use of questions. If you ask a better question , you will get a better answer. There are 3 powerful techniques available to create 3 thoughts and I will share each of them with you – you can then choose which one you feel more comfortable with using (if you need some coaching into how to develop this skillset, please ask our office team to line you up with a coach).
Amazing Technique 1 : Me, You and the Mentor.
Whenever I have a thought about someone or something or an event, I come up with 3 meanings as follows:
How do I see the situation?
How does the other person most likely see the situation (see it from their perspective)?
How would my mentor looking down upon us see the situation?
Once you have 3 meanings, you can then pick the one that resonates best with your intuition (gut feel, heart) as this is most likely the best one.
Simple and amazing Technique 2: What else could this mean?
I could use this technique such that I ask the question “What else could this mean?” three times and hence once again select the best answer that resonates with my intuition (gut feel, heart).
Confirmation Technique 3: Ask two other people whose views you respect
I would come up with my view. I would also ring two other key people in my life who I regard as very wise and explain the situation to them. Then I would carefully listen to their recommendation. From there I select the best viewpoint to move forth with (always the one that resonates with my gut feel/intuition).
I encourage you to practice becoming more responsive and less reactive. It takes much practice to get to a point of having three thoughts with every situation. However here are some of the changes you will develop as you become better at it:
- Increased levels of peace
- Growing compassion for others
- Better decisions
Our mind is much more elastic than we realise. It is also has many characteristics of muscle whereby the more we use it the stronger it becomes.
And one final checkpoint to assist you with accessing your gut feel/intuition with every thought selection – if you find yourself feeling a strong surge of love, compassion, peace or joy toward the other person or toward the event, then you know that you have selected the correct thought.
If you live in the city of Adelaide (including suburbs), I welcome you to come along to Breakfast at the Next Level – www.nextlevelbreakfasts.com.au – it would be great to see you. I encourage you to spend time with like-minded people to assist you with furthering your personal and leadership development.
Blessings to you – live with passion, purpose and always stay at peace,